The One That Got Away
by Karkalicious769
Summary: In which Jake regrets losing Dirk after college. His feelings for the blonde are still messing with his life twenty years later, and though he doesn't believe in second chances, is it possible that there's still hope for him to reunite with his one and only? (DirkJake oneshot)


Sometimes, you catch yourself thinking about him.

You wonder where he is, how life has treated him since college. You wonder if he married, settled down and had a life, or if he's still that free spirit you fell in love with.

Then you remember that it doesn't matter anymore.

It's been twenty years since you last saw him. You're married now, and have kids. Twins no less, and you love both John and Jade dearly. They're in highschool now, and are starting to date. You smile when you remember that, just a month ago, when John came out to you as gay, you had hugged him tight and told him how proud you are that he's being true to himself. He was confused of course, but you suppose that's your own fault.

You've never told anyone about Dirk.

Not even Jane knows about what went on between the two of you during college. In her mind, the two of you were just friends. You're honestly surprised that you managed to keep a secret for three years. Then again, that was part of the thrill. Sneaking out at two in the morning to see each other before morning classes, holding hands under the cafeteria table, trying not to moan for fear of waking up your roommates, you loved it all.

And you loved him.

You still love him. You know that to be true, and it hurts. Waking up in the morning, feeling warmth beside you, and foolishly hoping for a second that it's Dirk. It never is. You've begun separating from Jane. You talk to her less, and when you do, you try to keep it short. You want so badly for it to be Dirk instead, that it's hard to hear her voice instead of his. Sometimes, you can't even look at your kids. They just look so much like her, and all it does is remind you that you made a mistake. You let him get away.

You remind yourself that it's all your fault.

When he had got down on one knee and proposed, that last day on graduation, you hadn't been ready. You hadn't been prepared, and instead of saying "yes" as you now wish you had, you ran. After that day, you never saw him again. You deleted his number from your phone and snuck out the window when he tried to visit you. Eventually, he stopped trying to visit all together.

You started hanging out with Jane more, and when that friendship developed into something more, you didn't fight it. You wanted so badly to have him back that you started acting like she was him. And when your other friends pushed you to propose, you did. You got down on one knee and asked her to be yours. Unlike you, she said yes.

You love Jane, really, just not the way you adore Dirk. She's your wife, and best friend, but he's your one and only. You don't believe in love at first sight, but you do believe in soulmates. You also believe that Dirk was your soulmate, but it's too late. You let him slip right through your fingers. He gave you his heart, and you crushed it.

One thing you don't believe in is second chances.

Even if he did walk back into your life right now, it'd still be too little, too late. You're married with kids, and you have a responsibility towards them. You're going to raise your kids right, make sure they don't repeat your mistake, and they're going to be happy. You're going to stay with your wife and treat her like a queen, because you know she deserves it for staying married to someone like you.

Or, at least, that was the plan.

See, Jane loves FaceBook. You personally don't see the big deal, but when she asks you to join so she can finally tag you in photos, you comply. You do notice, however, that she's still in contact with Roxy, her best friend from high school. This doesn't strike you as particularly interesting, until you start scrolling through Roxy's previous posts.

You could never forget that face.

He looks older now for sure, but just as breath-taking as you remember. Same spiky hair, same pointed shades, and the same smile. Your heart pounds so loudly you fear Jane can hear it, and you send Dirk a friend request. You're not sure if it's good or bad that he accepts after just a minute.

You hold off on talking to him for a while, instead content to just browse his profile. You are extremely disappointed, though not at all surprised, to find that he's married. To Roxy, no less. He has kids too, one of them his by blood, and the other Roxy's. Apparently, they had both been married before meeting each other.

Rose and Dave are great kids, by the looks of things. Rose is the splitting image of Roxy, just in slightly darker hues, but Dave looks so much like Dirk that you thought for a moment that you were just looking at an old photo of him from high school.

You work up the courage, after a few weeks of stalking his account, and send him a message. It's pretty basic, just a simple hello, but you almost drop your phone when he replies after only a few minutes. Almost. You manage not to break your phone though and respond almost faster than he had.

The next thing you know, five hours have passed and you had yet to look away from your phone. You're not entirely sure what the two of you talked about that first time, just that you went to bed feeling lighter than you had in a long, long time.

Jane notices how much happier you are, and so do the kids, but when they ask why, you lie and say that things are really looking up for you at work. You can't tell anyone about Dirk. They wouldn't understand. It's been twenty long, dull years, and you're still in love. Maybe Jane would understand, but you know she wouldn't be happy about it, and you know that neither John nor Jade have experienced such strong feelings before. So you keep your dirty little secret to yourself.

You wonder if it's just a coincidence that Dirk and Roxy divorce barely even two months after the two of you reconnect. You convince yourself that their break-up was bound to happen, whether you entered the picture or not, and you're so good at lying yourself by now, that you believe it.

You're amazed when a year passes.

John and Jade are older, entering their junior year, and Jane pregnant again. You almost don't believe it when she tells you, but you choose to accept the announcement as good news and ignore the sinking feeling in your chest.

And as for Dirk, after a year, he and Roxy had worked out that they switch kids every month. You know that the two of them are still good friends, just not in love like they thought they were. This, you decide, is good news.

In that same year, Dirk insists on flying out to see you and your family. Of course, you tell yourself not to get excited. After all, he's coming with Roxy, Dave, and Rose too, but you can't help it. You're excited and scared out of your pants. Even talking to Dirk online caused your chest to pound and made you light-headed, so you have no idea how you'll remain calm when you see him in person.

As it turns out, you weren't going to find out so soon.

Because of the tight schedules both of your families ran on, them living in Dallas and the four of you in Seattle, the only time all eight of you could meet up was during the winter. You were driving, and Jane was sitting next to you, signing off-key to some song with John and Jade joining in from the back during the chorus. You don't remember what was playing or what happened exactly, just that you were humming along, and then suddenly you weren't. You remember a lot of white light, and then waking up in a hospital.

You recall the relief of hearing that John and Jade survived. You remember the feeling of dread that pooled in your stomach when they didn't immediately say Jane's name.

Dirk and Roxy insisted on staying for the funeral. And while Roxy did most of the planning, having always been a sort of party girl, Dirk hung back and tried to comfort you. You were too miserable to even appreciate that the love of your life was there, and even better-looking than he had been in college, but the thought instantly fills you with guilt. Though it was true you weren't "in love" with Jane anymore, you still loved her as a friend and loyal spouse. The two of you had been together through so much, and the thought that she was gone-

You're sure you wouldn't have been able to pick yourself back up had Dirk not been there. And, as luck would have it, you weren't the only person who realized this.

One day, Roxy pulled you aside, gave you a knowing look, and bluntly said, "So why aren't the two of you fucking yet?" You, of course, hastily tried to deny it, but she was having none of your shit. She said that only an idiot wouldn't be able to see how utterly in love with the other the two of you are. Roxy then went on to bemoan about what idiots guys are, but you mostly tuned that part out.

What she said got you thinking.

About Jane, about your life and job, and about your kids. About your future. But most of all, you thought about Dirk.

You were still thinking when he and Roxy eventually had to leave, and you stood back, watching John and Dave hug good-bye. You pay special attention to the way that hug lingers far longer than normal, and the sad, wanting look in John's eyes as Dave walks away. Part of you hurts at the sight. Your little boy is in love, and with a Strider. You just hope he has better luck in that department than you did.

Dirk approaches you, and awkwardly gives you a side hug before turning to leave. Behind him, you see Roxy roll her eyes and make a nudging motion with her hands. You can't bring yourself to kiss him, not until you're absolutely sure of his feelings, but you do grab his shoulder and pull him back, planting a quick kiss on his cheek before sending him on his way.

You pretend not to notice the way his smile got wider after you did that.

The next time you get to see Dirk, almost another year has passed. John and Dave Skype frequently, and when they're not doing that, they're texting. You've told your son to just tell the boy how he feels, but he refuses and you don't push it. For now, you've given him all the help he needs.

Besides, based on the way Dave pulled him into a deep kiss when they met up again, he didn't really need your advice anyway.

Dirk walks up from behind you, and you lean against him, looking up and your chest fill with a strange happiness you hadn't felt since college. "You think they'll last?" He asks quietly, nodding towards your separate sons and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You smile and nod. "I think they'll do fine. Like us, only they figured it out sooner." His brow creases in confusion, but before he can start talking, you turn around and press a kiss to his lips. He doesn't pull away, just as Roxy predicted, and instead pulls you closer. He feels just like how you remember, soft and gentle for you, but with the promise of something more intense and passionate, should you let him go further.

For now though, you pull away, and press your forehead against his, knowing without looking that you're grinning like a moron. "Hey, Dirk, don't be surprised, but I still love you." You mutter without looking away.

He smiles. "And I never stopped."

Behind you, Jade begins to say that the seven of you should probably head to the car, but you don't hear her. When Dirk kisses you, you aren't aware of anything except for the two of you and the aching parts of your body he's _not_ touching. You can't believe you ever let this man go. But, even if it took a lifetime of accomplishments and separation, you finally found him once more. And this time, you're not going to repeat past mistakes.

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 **A/N: BASED ON A TRUE STORY, ENJOY MY SHIT WRITING. Or don't. It's not as though I'll care.**


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